


♛•Selcouth•♛

by LeosSupernova



Category: Adam Driver - Fandom, Kylo Ren - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Adam Driver Smut, Addiction, Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Aftermath of Violence, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcohol Withdrawal, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Assault, Blood, Blood Kink, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Caffeine Addiction, Complicated Relationships, Consensual Violence, Declarations Of Love, Drama, Drama & Romance, Drug Addiction, Drugs, Explicit Language, Falling In Love, Forbidden Love, Gun Violence, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Love, Lust, Lust at First Sight, Mature Adam Driver, Multi, Non-Consensual Violence, Panic Attacks, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Domestic Violence, Past Drug Addiction, Past Sexual Assault, Psychological Drama, References to Drugs, Swearing, Threats of Violence, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love, Zendaya - Freeform, amanda seyfried - Freeform, mature content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:55:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29427738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeosSupernova/pseuds/LeosSupernova
Summary: ♡in which a young woman is left in the arms of her friends with the question - does love really always win?♡- just a short heads up, i do not condone the actions taken nor the words that are spoken in this book. this book is a harsh display of an extremely toxic and unhealthy lifestyle. you are not safe if you are in this kind of relationship and you need to get out. -
Relationships: Viola/Nikolai





	1. • introduction •

please read - as there's important information throughout this introduction that will help the book make more sense.

this entire story will be written in lower case. it's not a mistake - it's on purpose.

-

selcouth:

1\. odd, unusual, or extraordinary in appearance, effect, manner; peculiar.

2\. not known, seen, or experienced before; unfamiliar.

-

warnings 

(i will try to put a t/w at the beginning of all chapters including such things, this isn't for children, this book is gonna get hot and heavy and not always in the sexy way. it's damaging and it's a rough ride.)

• drug abuse

• alcohol abuse

• smut

• cnc

• nc/rape

• dubious consent

• name-calling

• heavy violence (as in gunshots, bone crushing, skin tearing etc.)

• misogyny/anti-feminism etc.

• heavy smoking

• rough family relationships

• mention of sexual/physical abuse

• may include light mention of self harm

• multiple mentions of death

• murder

• death threats

• strong language

• depictions of graphic violence that go heavily into detail

• other possible t/w's may be included - please let me know if something slips my mind in a chapter so I can add it to the top and this list.

\- 

∞ viola reid ∞

played by: emily rudd

age: 22

height: 5'2

viola has always been taught to stand up for herself, though ended up growing up to be rather soft. she's the youngest of the trio - and in turn, the most babied. a rough childhood however, has shaped viola into who she is today, and nothing will ever take that away from her. she's always been the most empathetic of the group - which in turn has always ended up getting her into situations that hurt her, but that's exactly why she has the other two girls.

she's always been the most empathetic of the group - which in turn has always ended up getting her into situations that hurt her, but that's exactly why she has the other two girls

∞ cirilla white ∞

played by: amanda seyfried

age: 24

height: 5'3

cirilla, childhood best friend of viola, is always seen as the pretty, dumb one of the trio - though it's mostly used to her advantage to get what she wants, no matter how much she despises being seen said way. cirilla is stubborn, and is usually the cause of boozy nights out for the trio when she fails at getting something she wants.

cirilla is stubborn, and is usually the cause of boozy nights out for the trio when she fails at getting something she wants

∞ ophelia valentine ∞

played by: zendaya

age: 26

height: 5'8

ophelia, aptly named even though she hates it - constantly talking about how her parents must have thought it would have been funny, is the headstrong, big sister of the trio. never taking no for an answer and always running to help her two other friends, ophelia is the one that you can always rely on - whether it be a favour or an awful situation. ophelia is incredibly intimidating, and very deadpan. she never fails at bleeding sarcasm and striking people speechless.

she never fails at bleeding sarcasm and striking people speechless 

∞ nikolai king ∞

played by: adam driver

age: 29

height: 6'2

nikolai, though well known to many - is also entirely unknown to everyone. a man who rarely speaks, rarely looks, rarely moves. a stoic, deadly silent man with an air of mystery around him - though there seems to be no reason to be, everyone seems terrified of him. maybe it's his general demeanour - or maybe it runs deeper than anyone could imagine.

(other important characters will be introduced at the start of the chapter they appear in.)

-

p.o.v's and headers

each character will have their own symbol, signifying their p.o.v, around their name.

sometimes it will be used in things like text conversations too. so here's the legend.

✧ narrator

∞ viola

✿ cirilla

⚕ ophelia

♛ nikolai

-

✘ playlist ✘ 

(it is entirely up to you whereabouts you imagine these songs fitting during the book. I have my own ideas but other people may interpret songs differently for different scenes. it's totally up to you!)

➳ as the world caves in - matt maltese

➳ this side of paradise - coyote theory

➳ dark red- steve lacy

➳ what do they know? - mindless self indulgence

➳ slip - elliot moss

➳ december - neck deep

➳ if it means a lot to you - a day to remember

➳ idontwannabeyouanymore - billie eilish

➳ poison - front porch step

➳ I hate you - frank carter & the rattlesnakes

➳ goner - twenty one pilots

➳ drown - front porch step

➳ lone star - the front bottoms

➳ can you feel my heart - bring me the horizon

➳ rät - penelope scott

➳ twin size mattress - the front bottoms

➳ king park - la dispute

➳ lullaby of woe - marcin przybyłowicz

➳ drugs - upsahl ft. two feet

➳ turning page - sleeping at last

➳ feel something - bea miller

➳ turncoat - michael rothery (this is the song i would imagine playing in anxious/slightly sad scenes with it being instrumental.)

➳ truth hurts - lizzo

➳ hollow heart (stripped) - where oceans burn

➳ babooshka - kate bush

➳ high enough - k.flay

➳ trapdoor - twenty one pilots

➳ princess castle - jazmin bean, cottontail

➳ mars - yungblud

➳ counting worms - knocked loose

➳ pray - xana

➳ i fall apart - post malone

➳ a sunday kind of love - etta James

➳ miss you! - corpse

➳ everything i wanted - billie eilish

➳ monster - skillet

➳ hard out here - lily allen

➳ try - p!nk

➳ peach scone - hobo johnson

➳ first of the gang to die - morrissey

➳ chasing cars - snow patrol

➳ jim bogart - the front bottoms

➳ i see fire - ed sheeran

➳ everything i own -bread

➳ can't help falling in love (cover) - twenty one pilots

➳ island of the misfit boy - front porch step

➳ peach - the front bottoms

➳ if i tremble - front porch step

➳ hollow hearts unite - hawthorne heights

➳ heathens - twenty one pilots

➳ devil in a suit - chill bump

➳ hopelessness - anohni

➳ private fears in public places - front porch step

➳ twelve feet deep - the front bottoms

➳ gum - moose blood

➳ addict with a pen - twenty one pilots

➳ cigarettes & saints - the wonder years

➳ but why would you care? - knuckle puck

➳ I would hate you if I could - turnover

➳ riot - three days grace

➳ on melancholy hill - gorillaz

➳ hotel california - eagles

➳ rape me - nirvana

➳ home sweet home - chill bump

➳ creep - radiohead

➳ thanks for the ride - the wonder years

➳ dare - gorillaz

➳ miss murder - afi

➳ estranged - guns n' roses

➳ belter - gerry cinnamon

➳ the cave - mumford and sons

➳ feel good inc. - gorillaz

➳ she hates me - puddle of mudd

➳ make me wanna die (acoustic) - the pretty reckless

➳ everlong (acoustic) - foo fighters

➳ little lion man - mumford and sons

➳ black hole sun - soundgarden

➳ you in january - the wonder years

➳ fake it - seether

➳ joker and the thief - wolfmother

➳ icarus lives - periphery

➳ start wearing purple - gogol bordello

➳ return of white rabbit - ash

➳ goodbye to a world - porter robinson

(I've compiled these into a playlist on spotify for you if you want to listen to the playlist in the background or easily find the songs. I have no doubt I'll add more songs as more come to mind.)

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0HQ1t1TW6CUDDZaZmZslLD?si=AW5rw1VzRwujS0bKvSjxPw&utm_source=native-share-menu

-

♛

are you ready for the ride?

♛


	2. • a new start •

✘t/w's✘

\- drug abuse

\- alcohol abuse

\- light physical abuse/domestic violence

-

✧narrator✧

viola reid had always been the youngest. she was the youngest child, the youngest in her year at school, and was now the youngest in her university course. she was also the youngest of her friends, even if there was only three of them.

it wasn't that viola hated being the youngest, ultimately it made no difference. but there was always someone who had to say something about it, whether it was verbally or through their actions. the whole thing had gotten old, and she was sick of it.

∞ viola ∞

"you know, you don't always have to babysit me when something goes wrong." viola moaned, running a hand through the hair that was falling in front of her face. she definitely needed a shower. cirilla looks over at her, giving her a grumpy smile with squinted eyes. it doesn't matter what viola says - she's not gonna take no for an answer. "i know we don't have to, but we are. that's what best friends do, you dumb bitch."

viola laughs, shaking her head a little, trying to hide the small wave of annoyance as her hand grips the door handle a little tighter. "can you stop bitching about the fact we're coming to look after you and let us in? it's fucking freezing out here." ophelia's never been one to tip toe around things. she really will just say it straight, people don't like that all that much.

"fine, but if you're really gonna coddle me about this you better have at least brought my favourite snacks." viola grumbled, turning to the side - holding the door open and letting the pair rush in towards the kitchen counter.

"um, excuse you? who the fuck do you think we are? amateurs?" ophelia clapped back, and viola laughed again - making her way around the counter to cuddle into her side. "sorry for being grumpy. you know how it is. i love you guys, i don't mean to be rude."

ophelia scoffed, as if it was obvious, wrapping an arm around viola's small shoulders. viola knew that she didn't need to tell her that anyway. "ciri, you said you were just going to the shop for some pasta sauce, did you really lie to me so you could go get ophelia and...all this stuff? what exactly is this stuff anyway?" she questioned, almost forgetting at the devious plan the two had conjured.

"well lucky for you, i have the iconic ciri's 'everything you need to get over a break up' pack right here for you." cirilla squeals, almost like she's excited that it's happened. "we've got all your favourites - we've got chocolate fudge brownie ice cream, we've got haribos - the sour ones, we've got pringles, and flaming cheetos, and we've got-" 

viola stopped listening after a short minute, her mind drifting into the void. going through a break up was really fucking hard, she knew that, but a long term relationship break up that was filled with betrayal? that was something else entirely.

✧narrator✧

viola knew her friends wanted what was best for her. she knew they just cared and wanted to help, but she couldn't get her mind off what her heart was going through. viola had met luke in high school - she often tells people it was love at first sight. they were an odd match, with viola being well liked but out of the spotlight (she was just the girl that was kind to everyone but never really did much of anything) and luke being the height of popularity paired with being on the schools cross country, athletics and swimming team.

many people joked at the start that viola and luke would never last. that relationships that start at 12 years old can't go anywhere and they'd split up before the year ended - but viola and luke proved them wrong entirely. they stayed together for almost 10 years, moving up through high school together; even becoming prom king and queen. they went through college together too, and though they started seeing less of each other, with them being on different courses, their love stayed the same.

it was university where everything seemed to go downhill, rolling like a snowball. viola had been accepted into nyu; the university of her dreams, meaning that she had to move from manchester, uk - to new york. it was a huge step, it would be for anyone, but viola had her heart set on this since she was a child, and nothing was going to stop her from reaching her goal.

it just so happened that luke had applied for syracuse university, and had also been accepted - meaning that instead of having to try long distance, they ventured off to achieve their dreams together.

cirilla had joined them in their adventure, wanting to become an actor on broadway one day - she thought of no place better than new york, and took no hesitation when viola had asked her to come to new york with her and move in together in a small apartment not far from nyu campus. how could she say no to living in the city of dreams with her best friend?

however, the trouble had first started one night in winter - at a frat house party luke had been invited to on his weekend that he spent with viola, with them being so busy with university - they only had the odd few days where they had time to spend time together, and he obviously invited viola and cirilla along with him. it was odd - experiencing a frat house party. frat parties were something entirely different from house parties back in england, but viola took comfort in the plastic tub of jungle juice on the kitchen counter and her arm wrapped around her best friends shoulders. the lack of men with their hands in their tracksuit bottoms asking where the 'birds' were and if there was any ket left wasn't missed in the slightest.

it had only been a few hours when viola had managed to lose both luke and cirilla, though it wasn't a surprise with how large the house was. viola was dizzy with heavy intoxication, and didn't spend long stumbling through the house until she found herself upstairs. she could hear murmuring from a nearby room, and thought maybe if she asked the people inside if they'd seen luke she'd be able to find him easier.

the biggest regret viola ever had was pushing that door open, because on the other side it was none other than luke, his tongue down another girls throat and his hand jammed up her tight, barely there dress. it was then, that viola puked on the floor.

she travelled home alone that night, in a daze of hurt and confusion. she'd already texted cirilla to tell her that she was going back to the apartment and to stay safe, lying that she'd taken an uber, but as she made her way through the streets of new york she found herself wondering if she should've taken an uber in the first place - the feelings dissolved when she reached the front door of her apartment block and hobbled inside, bare feet hitting the tiles as her heels clacked against the side of the door, dangling in her hand.

it was the next morning that luke had shown up at her door, and even cancelling out the events that she'd witnessed the night prior, she was extremely hungover and didn't want to see anyone or even move right now. he'd spent three hours sat at the foot of her bed, following her into the doorway of the bathroom when she got up to vomit before resting back at the bottom of her bed when she was done. he did nothing but apologise, saying that he thinks he was spiked, that he doesn't really remember what happened and that a friend from his course had told him what he'd done, and had told him how viola had ran out of the party in tears by herself.

she forgave him, of course. it was true love and he can't have meant it. or so she thought, because it was barely two weeks until it happened again. viola had been dragged out to a club by cirilla, in a desperate attempt to alleviate the stress of her final exam for the year before the christmas break, to pass a booth on the way to the bathroom where she once again found luke, with his tongue down another girls throat. not only had he cheated on her again, but he'd lied to her this time, saying he was on a trip with friends down south and that he'd see her next week. viola vomited on the floor again.

it was that same night that she met ophelia, as she'd ran off to the bathroom to clean up her face and wash her mouth out - only to turn her head in the mirror at the bronze skinned girl that stood leaning against the sink beside her, her perfect curls framing her face. viola had never seen a prettier woman in her life. ophelia immediately knew that the small girl was in this state because of a man, which is why she had no time for men, and had wrapped a hand around her hair - holding it away from her face so she could splash it with cold water and feel a little better. 

it was also at the same point that ophelia gave her a pep talk, and listened to the snow skinned girl spill all the details to a total stranger. she didn't want pity, she just wanted to understand, and to be understood, and ophelia did. they exchanged numbers that night, and as viola left the bathroom and stormed out of the club - hand grasping cirillas arm on the way, because of ophelia - she was confident that she was better than the way luke treated her.

over the christmas break, viola had stayed in new york with cirilla, not wanting to travel back home and answer awkward questions about luke, or even be forced to pretend nothing was wrong. she'd told luke not to talk to her, that she needed time, and that she'd talk to him when she was ready - but it was christmas eve that luke came bursting through her apartment door. (why the fuck did she not take back that spare key?) 

he was drunk, maybe even beyond drunk, and by the looks of it he was high too. he'd screamed in her face about how much of a bitch she was, about how he'd done nothing wrong and she was a horrible person for taking time away from him. he threw the bottle of whiskey that he'd been carrying across the room, letting it smash on the brick wall below the window, before turning to face her and striking her across the face with the back of his hand - leaving raised, red marks where his rings had hit.

that was the final straw for viola, and whilst cirilla called the police - viola stood a good distance away from luke, whilst he rolled around on the floor now unable to stand, telling her all the gruesome details of things he did with other women behind her back, about how he'd been doing it since college and how she was so stupid that she'd never noticed.

viola's heart had split in two that night, and she'd vowed never to love again. she failed to leave her room on christmas morning - haunted by the sight of her first and only love in handcuffs with tears streaming down his face as he screamed with abandon that she'd made him this way.

viola couldn't understand. her mind was foggy, and it felt like her skull could explode at any minute. she couldn't understand what she'd done to make him feel that way, or do that to her. cirilla had tried to explain that it wasn't her fault, and that luke was a toxic psychopath that had twisted her words and tricked her into thinking it was her fault and not his, playing on her personality, knowing she'd overthink it and deem it to be indeed her own fault.

but viola couldn't help but overthink it, much to cirilla's dismay, as she curled up under the blanket, pointing to a small gift bag that had cirilla's name on it - signalling that she wanted to be alone. cirilla left a small box at the foot of her bed and left her be.

it wasn't until new years eve that viola found herself being dragged out of bed and into the shower by none other than cirilla, ophelia trailing a few steps behind - and afterwards she let the two girls work on her whilst they got ready to go out. cirilla joked that she may find the new love of her life that night. he never came. she didn't want him to.

when university had started up again, viola threw herself into her painting. cirilla had started to worry about her, calling on ophelia for help. upon first glance, nobody would have seen anything wrong with viola's paintings if they had just met her, but if they looked back at her paintings before her and luke broke up - there was a significant difference.

the once colourful and precisely lined paintings she once created were abandoned, and what lay upon her canvases now were dark, moody colours. her lines were rough and scratchy, and their content was dark and ominous. viola had once painted beautiful forest scenes, colourful portraits and other such things - cirilla's favourite being her painting of aurora borealis - but now her canvases only lay strewn about the studio in dismay, half finished scrawls and splatters, stained with red and black paint. they were dark, and quite honestly harrowing. blood always made its way into viola's paintings now. she hadn't seemed to notice.

∞viola∞ 

"can we stop watching a billion horror films?" viola groaned, and ophelia shot a glare. "what would you rather watch, romcoms? would that make anything better?" the fair skinned girl knew she was right, and she sunk further back into the sofa, pulling the tub of ice cream further into her chest as she lifted another spoonful.

"look, if you're so grumpy about us looking after you inside, how about we go out tomorrow night? think of it as a half celebration and another half new start. you got that job you wanted at simeon's coffee-house last week, right? we should go celebrate that." cirilla started, looking over to ophelia, as if prompting her to help. "yeah, that. dad gave me his membership card to that flashy place downtown, we could go there. you never know, maybe you'll find a fancy rich boyfriend." ophelia smirked, shoving another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. viola groaned loudly and turned her face into the pillow beside her, she didn't want a boyfriend.

"come on vi, it's been almost a year since you and luke broke up. you need to get back out there, don't let one guy ruin love for you. you can't mope around the apartment forever." viola knew she was right. her friends had been too easy on her, and she'd spent too long just existing outside of university and the odd coffee-house shift.

"come on, seriously. ciri's right. we'll go out tomorrow morning, we'll go shopping for new outfits, get super glammed up and we'll go have fancy drinks and pretend we're rich for a night. it'll be fun." it wasn't often ophelia showed much emotion, but the curly haired girl was giving her puppy dog eyes across the room, and viola couldn't pass it by.

"okay, okay. fine. but if i wanna leave and come home, you gotta let me come home." one rule, that was all she had. that was all she ever had, and her two friends nodded excitedly.

✧narrator✧

the next day had been an early start, much to viola's dismay. when ophelia had said morning, she really had meant morning - as she had found the empty faced girl stood at the bottom of her bed at 9am with her foot on the end of the mattress, violently shaking it. viola had groaned that it was a weekend and there was no need to be getting up this early on a saturday, but ophelia had told her to seize the day - before dragging her out of her bed by her ankles.

the high street was bustling, but could you expect anything less from new york on a saturday? viola wished she'd got used to it by now, but she really hadn't, and still felt on edge as she made her way through the bustling crowds to the high end clothes shops.

ophelia came from a well off family, and was originally from california. her parents owned their own business there, and ophelia was never without money whenever she needed it. it was that morning that she'd called her father, updating him on the situation with viola and asked for shopping money. she rarely took advantage of her parents wealth - but she told her father that desperate times called for desperate measures and that she really needed it so that viola could heal. her father agreed.

stepping into the store, it didn't take long for cirilla to fly off across the store, making her way down rails of tiny dresses - if you could even describe them as such. viola thought they looked more like scrap pieces of fabric sewn together. it wasn't that she was extremely conservative and enjoyed covering up, she just liked to leave something to imagination - and cirilla's partying outfits did nothing of the sort. she might as well go out in her underwear.

viola found herself looking through the racks in a daze. it had been a while since she'd gone out properly, and the last time she'd gone out was the same night she stumbled across luke. she shook the thought from her head. nothing was ruining tonight.

∞viola∞

"y'know, i'm actually a bit nervous. i haven't been out in a while i know but i've never really been anywhere fancy." viola mumbled to ophelia, who was in the room beside her doing her makeup in the bathroom mirror. it was true, viola was usually at small, dingy back street clubs and average high street restaurants.

"you'll be fine. the drinks are strong as hell, it'll only take you like one to get over it." ophelia said awkwardly, viola peered around the doorframe to notice she'd been speaking whilst applying lipstick.

ophelia always looked incredible, even in her pyjamas. but instead of pyjamas, tonight she was dressed in a sleek, maroon two piece suit. fitting, for ophelia. she wasn't really the girly type. viola can't recall ever seeing her in tight shorts or a skirt, let alone a dress.

cirilla, on the other hand, was the complete opposite of ophelia. as she bust into the bedroom, glass of wine in hand, viola took in her lilac 'dress.' also a two piece, but as mentioned earlier, it left little to imagination.

viola looked down at herself frowning. she felt like she was underdressed all of a sudden. the sleek black dress started at her chest (strapless of course) with long sleeves attached. the skirt flowed down to the floor - though there was a large slit up her right leg. it was simple, maybe too simple. maybe viola should have listened to ophelia - should she be dressing prettier in an attempt to pull someone at the bar?

"are you guys sure i look alright? i can't help but feel that i look really fucking boring. is it boring? it feels boring." viola rambled, jumping when cirillas hands landed on her arms. "you look hot as fuck. shut up. c'mon ophelia, let's go, the ubers outside." she squeaked, pulling viola by the hand and out the door - ophelia taking long strides behind them.

-

word count: 3359.


End file.
